How I Got Here, Part 4

 Disclaimer: Any names or personally identifiable information will be changed for any persons referenced. 

I sat at my mom’s kitchen table, scrolling through the liberal arts majors. Voices bounced around in my head of everyone who had told me I couldn’t make a career out of the arts, those who reminded me how competitive performing arts were, and every other doubt that told me I was pursuing the impossible.

I wasn’t even aware that Purdue had a music major, but when I saw it on the list, I stopped scrolling. I felt my heart race.

“Could I do this?” I asked myself.

I pushed aside each critical voice in my mind. My mother, who is an artist and a painter, encouraged me. I could feel the support of other teachers and artists in my life, including my first piano teacher and my high school choir director. 

I thought “YOLO!” and changed my major to music.

I was so excited to see which classes I could take starting next fall. I was also thrilled to discover my new major offered much more flexibility, and I had space for electives. Just for fun, I signed up for a dance class. 

After spring break, I started working for a piano teacher, Iracebeth. 

I was given a loose summary of my responsibilities, and she added the first students to my schedule. Besides the fact that Iracebeth’s piano studio was more than an hour's bus ride from where I lived, I felt like it was a pretty good gig. Working in the piano studio, I made significantly more money than my first campus job, which was McDonald’s (0/10 do not recommend) and it was also a step up from the daycare. 

I definitely faced a learning curve learning to teach with clarity and confidence. Both students and parents looked at me as an example of experience and a well of knowledge. I felt more like a puddle of knowledge. I had to learn how to accept payments, explain Iracebeth’s studio policies, teach piano using a curriculum, and arrange my teaching so I was finished after 30 minutes, but also filled up the entire time slot.

As I got to know my students better, teaching got easier. I connected with their interests and made them laugh. I found out what pace they wanted to learn, so they wouldn’t be bored or overwhelmed. 

The business-relationship side of things, however, worsened after the first few months. The expectations for my job constantly shifted.

To make matters worse, Iracebeth was also my piano teacher. I knew I needed to continue developing my musicianship so I could continue growing. But I remember gradually feeling more and more stressed. One particular class, there was a certain rhythm pattern I was struggling with. Iracebeth informed me that I needed to ‘figure it out’ or I wouldn’t be able to teach it. 

Well, she’s not wrong, but what I needed was some solid coaching on how to figure it out.

Before her winter piano recital I was so stressed I found myself sobbing in the bathroom. As I wiped tears from my face, I realized that I needed a better work-life balance, which meant taking piano lessons from someone who did not consider herself my boss.

I took a drink of water, dried my eyes, and went to encourage my students who were performing that night.

In January, I started taking piano lessons from a really good friend from church. She teaches music classes in Elementary school, so she and I have a lot in common. She has helped me grow in so many ways, and I am so grateful to still have her as my teacher today. 

Suffice it to say, Iracebeth was not pleased when she found out I was taking lessons from a different teacher. 

Throughout the year, Iracebeth continued to express her displeasure with me. Once she told me that I needed to push my students harder and get them through the curriculum faster. That very same day, a parent thanked me for how patient I was when teaching their child. From that moment, I decided my priority was the opinion of my students and their parents.

Even though I tried to care less about her opinions of me, she was still in charge of my schedule and income. The frequency with which I cried at work increased. 

Finally, as I was preparing for a new semester of classes, Iracebeth wanted to add six new students to my schedule. I knew I could not commit to teaching that many new students, especially not knowing what my course load would look like. I did what I could to negotiate a schedule that I could confidently commit to, but Iracebeth was uninterested in negotiations.

It was time to look for different piano teaching opportunities. In August of this year, following a prompting from God, I called a local music store. It turns out, they have a warehouse filled with dusty pianos they were willing to rent to me.

The next month was chaos as I started a new semester of classes and spent all my free time working. I cleaned and swept and dusted the warehouse. I set up my studio space, posted advertisements, and prepared to start teaching. And much to my astonishment, it went better than I could ever have imagined. 

That is how I got to where I am today: full time college student, early 20s, piano teacher with her own business. This is definitely not the direction I planned on going, but I have learned so much and it has been the most amazing adventure. 

If you have stuck around and read my story this far, thanks so much! Another thank you to everyone who has given me support and encouragement on this unexpected journey! I promise you, whatever you have going on in your life, God (or the universe or whatever power of love and light you may believe in) has a plan for you and is guiding your path. Sometimes it may not feel that way. I certainly did not feel that way when I was crying in the bathroom at work. I’m sure there will be times in the future when I don’t feel that way. But we just put one foot in front of the other, right?

I hope you stick around and keep reading my blog! I’ll continue sharing stories about my teaching adventures, infodumping about music, ranting about the recognition arts should get, and sharing teaching tips. Bye for now!

✨College✨ or How I Got Here, Part 3

 I moved onto campus a few weeks before classes started at Purdue so I would have time to find a job. I very distinctly remember walking across campus to a job interview. There is a big arch that reads “Purdue University”. I walked under that sign, like Mike Wazouski stepping into MU, basking in my own brilliance as a new student of such a prestigious place of study. Then I looked down, and realized I was walking in the bike lane.

Freshman year, I started out in the College of Education as a Special Education major. Countless times people inquired about my major, as is the standard get-to-know-you question on a college campus. But I got pretty much the same answer every time. “Why did you choose that major?” and “Oh, that is so wonderful, we really need good teachers, especially in special ed.” After a while, I got a bit tired of hearing the first question. No one was asking the engineering students why they chose their major. Additionally, I couldn’t exactly tell people that I was studying special education because I was inspired by my autistic cousin. I am the autistic cousin.

Shortly after I began my studies, I also got a part time job at a daycare. In the beginning, what I was learning from lectures and working in a classroom of sticky one-year-olds seemed to line up quite nicely. 

About halfway through my second semester, I started to get discouraged. I was fighting various mental health struggles and I felt like I was hitting a wall. Burnout can be common for educators, but I felt like I was experiencing burnout before I had even started. 

However, I wanted to push through. For everyone who had told me, “we need more good teachers,” I felt guilty. I did not want to fail them. 

Spring break was probably the biggest tipping point for me. I did not see it at the time, but God was lining everything up. 

I experienced a sudden job change right before spring break, which left me grieving and financially overwhelmed. I scheduled a meeting with a career advisor to figure out what might be a good path of study. Through all of this, I felt as though a cloud of guilt was hanging over my head. I saw myself as someone who was giving up. I felt I had slammed too many doors on myself. As I floundered in a metaphorical hallway of closed doors, God waltzed in and opened another.

I stumbled upon a particularly powerful quote (thanks Pinterest!):

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive” -Howard Thurman

The cloud of guilt parted and sunlight broke through. 

I spoke with a local piano teacher about working part time. Even though I had not taken lessons in a couple years, I was able to cite my experience teaching piano in high school. Next I met with the career advisor. This wise advisor listened to me talk for about 5 minutes, and then said, “you sound like an artist. Go check out the liberal arts majors.”

How I Got Here, Part 2

 I have been pondering how best to share the needs of my piano student. After some time, I realized this is not my story to tell, it is her story. I will only share the details of her story as it applies to my experience teaching her. Suffice it to say, she was only able to play piano with her left hand.

The piano curriculum I learned and taught from started teaching songs for right hand at the very beginning of the book and students were playing notes with both hands before the end of the book. Obviously, if I used that curriculum, there would be too many songs I would have to skip. 

Following several days of poking around on the internet, I found a piano book for the left hand. The only problem was the book was filled with highly complex exercises for advanced pianists to strengthen their left hand. Obviously, this was not the right book for a beginner piano student. 

I concluded that I would write my own piano curriculum. The musical notation software I had at my disposal was google slides. I had some experience writing lesson plans for my early childhood education class and I had written a few silly little songs. But I was woefully underprepared. I did not want to breach a single copyright law, so I found open source songs and attempted to write my own. 

Here is a glorious example of one of the songs I wrote for this curriculum. It is probably by far the most creative and original melodies in existence. 

Obviously, I lacked the abilities to write a solid piano curriculum. However, I could not find another piano curriculum written for the use of one hand. I saw a need and decided to fill it to the best of my abilities. Was it perfect? It couldn’t be further from perfect! But this was a building block. I am so grateful for my student’s patience as I learned how to adapt lessons. She gave me the gift of this building block. And maybe in the future, after I have more experience and have taken a composition class or two, I can revisit this curriculum and make it better. 

To my readers, do not let your fear of imperfection stop you from creating something. Life is not about creating perfect things, life is about learning and growing. And I can speak from experience, the clumsy little curriculum you attempt to write in high school can be the foundation to so much more.  

My senior year of high school took me on an unexpected path. I did not teach piano or take piano classes. Since the events of that year don’t really apply, we’ll just skip to my freshman year of college in How I Got Here, Part 3. Until then, go create something!

How I Got Here, Part 1

     Once upon a pandemic, I was bored out of my mind. A few years before, I started taking piano classes. By 2020, although my performance level was suboptimal, in part due to severe performance anxiety, I had a fairly solid grasp of musical concepts and theories. 

At some point after the marshmallow fights and before true cabin-fever type insanity set in, I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure out what to do with my time. Perhaps it was a spark of inspiration, a lightbulb moment, the universe leading me to my future; call it what you will. I think in truth my plan was born from mild curiosity and massive boredom. I turned to my six-year-old sister and asked her if she wanted to learn how to play the piano. Much to my surprise, she agreed. I wrongly assumed her desire to not-be-bossed-around by her big sister would outweigh her interest in piano.

We searched the bookshelves and fished around in the piano bench of our 100-year-old upright grand until we found a collection of crumpled beginner piano books. We started class and she learned her finger numbers and how to play her first song. We planned to have short lessons once a week.

Not many weeks passed before the desire to not-be-bossed-around by her big sister set in. I remedied this by offering small prizes at the end of class, and my mom helped out by offering treats. 

My teaching efforts were clumsy and I often rambled while trying to explain certain concepts such as why middle C is called middle C when it is not exactly in the center of the keyboard. Children have a way of asking questions about concepts we simply take for granted.

At the time, my career plan was to become a special education teacher. I was in high school taking classes in Early Childhood Education to get as much preparation as I could. I already knew that I wanted to help people. I enjoyed creating lesson plans. The antics of small children always made me laugh. So I knew becoming a teacher was a solid path. I would always have a job. Everyone told me, “we need good teachers.” 

However, I was surprised to discover that I was becoming somewhat good at teaching piano specifically. I enjoyed it. 

This realization dawned on me as society began to slowly reopen. Life felt a bit like a sunflower, expanding to full bloom.

I was also looking for ways to make a bit of extra money. My miniscule allowance I got from completing chores just wasn’t cutting it anymore, particularly with college around the corner.

I approached the mother of my little sister’s best friend and offered to teach the aforementioned friend piano lessons. To my elation, the mother enthusiastically agreed. Honestly, this wonderful woman’s faith in my potential changed my life. 

During my junior year of high school, I taught lessons to this young friend as well as a few other children from our church. It felt a bit like a babysitting gig. It worked wonderfully at the time. But as I said, my plan at the time was to graduate high school and go on to get a degree in education. I certainly did not expect these simple piano lessons to be the first stepping stone to being self-employed. 

The only thing I did know is I had a new student and frustratingly miniscule resources for teaching piano to someone with her needs.

To be continued…